All this time I was finding myself, when I didn't know I was lost.

This week has been a whirlwind of change, to say the least. Sitting down to write this entry, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've sat down since our plane ride on Saturday. We flew home from our two-week training in Omaha (which was extremely intensive BTW - the University that BT employees receive academic benefits from grants a year of credits for the completion of preservice, if that gives you any idea HOW intensive it is) on Saturday and immediately had to finish packing up our apartment on Sunday, and made the drive to Tallahassee (4 hours, to be exact) on Monday. We had help finishing up our apartment on Sunday evening by our parents, and our good family friends Stephen and "Aunt" Ruth. We said goodbye to Mimi and Bapa (Ben's parents) that night, as well as our friends that helped us. It was then that I had my first tearful explosion. Before that, I had been so goal-oriented (through training and flying with 2 toddlers without losing my mind...) that I hadn't taken the time to process the fact that we were leaving our security net. My parents, Ben's parents, and all of our dear friends have been so good to us and our babies for our 4 years as a family in Tampa. They've acquired numerous "Aunts and Uncles" who literally just take them out and spoil them on birthdays just because they love them. We've paid a babysitter MAYBE once ever, because anytime we needed a date night, one or both sets of grandparents was willing to jump at the opportunity to love on my kids. We've been, in a word, spoiled.

Monday morning our "Uncle" Jack came to my parents house (where we slept for 2 nights, because ours was not really liveable) to say goodbye. My sister had even come home to see us off which was a blessing because we didn't think we'd get to see each other with our busy schedules. After a few more tears, a few hours of putting off leaving to tie up loose ends, we finally hit the road, Ben in our giant U Haul and me and the kids in Ben's car. We made pretty good time, even with the kids being pretty anxious and having to stop for gas/food/etc. When we got here we were met with a fury of boys from the home across the street and other family teachers. The truck was unloaded in under an hour, which was quite an accomplishment. In the end, I was actually grateful none of our friends or family came up to help because it would have been a waste, we had SO much help. Every single boy came up and shook hands and introduced himself [moderately] respectfully, which I was impressed by, that's one of the social skills we work really hard on. :) We also met all the other FT's, their kids, and our intern. A neighbor from one of the boy's homes took our kids and fed them dinner, had a picnic outside and wore them out the rest of the way so we could unpack and get the beds put together. We have been immediately accepted and welcomed into this family - and it's wonderful.

Now, to OUR actual living situation... We have four girls. We were expecting six, so we were pleasantly surprised to hear the number '4' for our starting out. Two of our girls are in middle school, and two are in high school. One of our girls was just accused of assault and moved to a specialty "second chance" school where there's no backpacks, no pants with cargo pockets, and all shirts are white so there's no way anyone could be carrying anything dangerous. It's pretty hardcore... the rest of our girls are in 'normal' public schools and are pretty typical teenagers. Our very first day, two girls got in a fist fight, and one went "non compliant," and we really wouldn't expect anything less. :) So now, the girls that fought are on "subsystem" which is basically a more intensive system of earning behavioral points, they're 'in debt' for ten days with no privileges until they earn all 200,000 of their negative points back. Eek.

I had a breakthrough the first day with our rougher girl, the one who gave us issues and went non compliant the first day, through praise and empathy she opened up to me and we went shopping for new school clothes, and I even snagged a proactive teaching moment. Success. Two girls have court dates tomorrow to determine their future living situations/school placement. I'm tempted to think we're in over our heads, but then I remember God called us to this, and He will equip us and lead us accordingly.

The hardest part so far has been helping the kids adjust. As adults, we learn that situations change and so do our mindsets out of necessity, little ones have a harder time with that. Rachel Beth knew right away that she was far away from family, but still asks often "can we go to Nana's house and see Max..." or "can we go have lunch with Mimi?" I just keep telling her "not today, we're far away... but whenever we visit or they visit us it will be so special." She face-timed with my Mom today which helped her a lot. :)

Anyway, it's 9:40 which now feels much later since I have to be up dispensing meds and making sure 'my' teenagers get to school. I'm tired, but it's going well. Ben and I are happy. We're praying for an abundance of patience and clarity of mind, as we're now responsible for 6 schedules instead of just 2. I'm praying we find a groove quickly and get into a routine pretty easily.

Thank you all for your wonderful prayers and support and uplifting comments. I haven't  had much time to respond to anyone on facebook, one because we don't have WiFi in our house yet and I don't want to eat up my data on my phone, and two because I really just don't have time. :) But we covet your prayers and your support. Every time I see another positive comment on here it thrills me and keeps me going. We love you all.

"Wish I could stay forever this young - not afraid to close my eyes.
Life's a game made for everyone, and love is the prize.
So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older,
All this time I was finding myself when I didn't know I was lost."