Today was probably the most "different" birthday I've ever had - last year, when I turned 23, I definitely did NOT envision myself in a new city, with a new career, and I absolutely did not anticipate that said new career would include 4 new "children" for whom I was responsible for. God is funny.
This morning I got to sleep in, and I think that was really the key to fighting off these last bit of flu symptoms I've been trying to ignore, to no avail. I woke up to my sweet Lukey standing by my bed, singing his version of "Happy Birthday," which is something along the lines of singing "Happy boof-Day to YOUUUUU" over, and over, and over again until you make him stop. :) In the house, my sweet husband had made a large pan of cinnamon rolls (a staple for EVERY major holiday or celebration since forever...) and the girls were hovering around the kitchen, apparently waiting for me to wake up before they could eat (LOL - sorry girls...). We ate my coffee was presented to me in my brand-new tervis tumbler, I had one already from Easter but use it so much my hubby got me a backup, yay! Then one of my middle schoolers got picked up by her soon-to-be adoptive parents and headed off for a weekend visit. Then it was chore day, so the girls worked on getting their stuff done while we walked around, talked with our neighbors and snagged whatever proactive teaching moments we could possibly find since our girls are still in debt with their points.
Anyway, the day was sweet overall. It just occurred to me today how different everything is from the way I thought it would be at this point. It's funny to me how every time I start to get an "ideal" about life in my head, God says "OK, take one step forward now and we'll see about that." It just makes me laugh. For instance, our society puts SO much of an emphasis on education, and now, it's not even enough to just have a college degree, it has to be a certain TYPE of college degree or from a certain University... and, I won't say I don't also think that it's important as well. God gave us our minds and our intelligence and we have a responsibility to cultivate that -- however, I've come to find that the way that we honor His gifts to us look different for every person. I don't have a college degree. I had my daughter after I finished my freshman year of college, and for various reasons, I never went back and finished it. Though I do intend to finish it at some point, look at the way God has trained and prepared me for this career/ministry I have entered into without one! Every experience, from my childhood into motherhood has built me into the person that I am now, and that person is fully equipped to handle this job, one of a social worker, pharmacist, paramedic, chef, bus driver and most importantly - a Mother.
Another humbling realization God has forced me to see recently - working Moms are not selfish. For a long time, I assumed that anyone who had children and also worked full time had their priorities out of whack. After all, how could anyone possibly love their kids as much as I do, and STILL stand to be away from them for any amount of time? How could they give their best to their job and just give whatever's left over to their kids? Yes, I realize this sounds terrible. It is a terrible way to think. Recently I have realized that not only do some Moms choose the careers they choose solely for the benefit it provides the child, but also, the time spent away from their kids helps them cherish the time WITH their kids more. Before starting training and jumping into this job, I kind of took my time with my kids for granted. I was with them all day, every day and honestly, some days I just wasn't feelin' it. Now, having such a wide spectrum of kids that I'm responsible for, not only do I see how great my kids are, I also appreciate their unique gifts and personalities more than I did before. I realize I am not expressing any of this very eloquently. Lately I feel like all the epiphanies and humbling moments are coming in waves, one after another, and there's very little time to catch my breath, so I'm just letting them carry me away. Why not. God is good.
I don't know how to summarize any of this except to say - going into 24, this is the first year that I do feel significantly different. Perhaps only because I am in the waves of a drastic life change and everything looks different. Either way - I feel more like myself than I have in quite some time, even though I'm in a different place than I've ever been before. Life is sweet and I am in a good place.
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